rest in peace sing and dance in joy!

last night was my father's memorial services, and this morning we have the graveside service. it was good to hear so many good things said about my dad.

it had been 11 years ago that he got his liver transplant; and kidney failure soon after that. and so for over a decade of his life he was very different than what he was like before. it was good to remember his personality before. and it was really good to see the picture of him (the one in the previous post - in color) shown up on the screen for most of the service. he looked young, vivacious, and happy.

so dad it's good to know what a wonderful legacy you've left behind. and it's even better to know that you're not suffering from disease anymore. you're singing and dancing with joy in heaven right now.

for those who didn't know my dad, here's his obituary that ran in the local papers:

Reverend Isaias Lara, a Prosser, Washington resident for 27 years, at the age of 75 died in his home on September 19, 2007.

Surviving are his wife, Virginia Lara of Prosser and his former spouse, Consuelo Lara of Fresno, CA and eight children: David and Priscilla Lara of Fresno, CA; Daniel Lara of West Covina, CA, Deborah Moore of Whittier, CA; and Elizabeth (Lisa) Jack of Arcadia, CA; Abraham Lara of Grandview, WA; Magdalena Najera of Prosser, WA; and Elia Belmares of Saint Louis Park, Minnesota. He is also survived by his only sister Neomi Hall of Downey, CA and 15 grandchildren and 5 great-grandchildren.

He is preceded in death by his parents Juan and Elia Lara and granddaughter; Abigail Najera.
Reverend Lara was born in Galveston, TX on October 22, 1931. He grew up as the son of Reverend Juan Lara, an evangelist, who raised the church Mission Belen in Los Angeles, CA. He married Consuelo Lara on March 1, 1957. Together they had 5 children.

After many years of prayer from his family, he accepted the Lord while at the Men’s Honor Ranch in Saugus, CA. Upon his release, after 11 months, he returned to Fresno where he preached and witnessed through the rugged streets of China Town.

After the death of his father he founded his own church, Templo Belen, in East Los Angeles. The church merged into the Santa Pentecostes Conference where he became Assistant Supervisor until 1975. He ministered in southern California and also traveled to Baja California as an evangelist.

Later in life he married Virginia Trujillo, together they had 3 children. They moved to Washington in 1980 to help build the Principe de Paz church in Grandview, WA.
He pastored a Hispanic congregation, Full Gospel Assembly, for 14 years in Prosser. He also ministered through a weekly radio program. Isaias enjoyed raising cattle on a 10 acre ranch he owned. During this time he maintained his own upholstery business. He also pastored La Nueva Jerusalem church in Caldwell, Idaho in 1996.

In addition to his diabetes, he was diagnosed with cirrhosis of his liver and in 1996 he received a transplant. Today he stands with the Lord free from disease and pain.
A viewing will be held on Friday, September 28 at the Grandview Assembly of God from 3 to 7 pm; with a memorial service beginning at 7 pm. On Saturday, September 29 at 10 am there will be a graveside service at the East Prosser Cemetery.

// today i'm thankful for:
1. his leadership
2. his legacy
3. his laughter
4. his love
5. his life

--------------------------

9/19/2007

Rev. Isaias Lara (1931-2007)

my father passed away this afternoon. he was a month shy of his 76th birthday. his condition has been frail for the last few years so it wasn't really a surprise. but as is the case with any death, it catches you off guard.

it's hard to describe what my feelings were when i first found out (by a call from my sister) or even in the hours afterward. i mean for the past 10 years or so there have been various times that i've thought about what my reaction should be when i first heard and now it's finally here.

i felt my heart sink. not because my father had died necessarily but because the time i knew had been on the horizon, was finally here and i would have to face all the feelings that come along with that in the days, weeks, and years to come.

i didn't really feel like breaking down and crying the moment i heard. in fact i don't think it really hit me what had happened until i had to explain it to some of the school staff as to why i was leaving early. it was actually saying the words out loud. "my father just passed away." i said those words and i felt my voice start to quiver. and a lump in my throat swell.

but i think my highest point of grief (thus far) came when we got to my dad's house. we were all in my parent's bedroom; my dad lying dead on his recliner chair. none of us were really sure what to say. besides our family some paramedics and a police officer were in the room. but there was a moment that deborah left the room and went to the piano and began playing the old hymn: "i'll fly away." and some other hymns like "it is well with my soul".

i started to cry, others in the room began to cry as well. it was very fitting.

we have family in southern california and minnesota that will be coming to the funeral. so it will probably be next week sometime.





// today i'm thankful for:
1. family
2. faith
3. memories
4. friends
5. my dad

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lifegroup, grouplife, and grouplink

if the title of this post confuses you hopefully i can sort it all out for you.

first of all grouplife is the overall name of our small groups ministry at grandview assembly of God. since last january my position at the church has shifted from youth pastor to associate pastor. as associate pastor my job description includes 1) media ministry and 2) small groups ministry.

lifegroup is the name of the individual small groups that will meet weekly in various homes and days. (okay so right now we actually have 2. one that will be meeting on sunday nights and the other on thursday nights.

and grouplink is the name of the event by which people who are interested in joining a lifegroup can get more information and then actually sign up for one.

anyways all that to say that today was our first grouplink. and we had 23 people there for most of it and then 1 more showed up towards the end of it. out of those 18 actually signed up for a lifegroup. so i'd say that was pretty good. there are actually a few more that told me they had to think about it a little bit more and would get back to me. and then there was a couple who told me in advance that they'd like to join but weren't going to be able to make it to the grouplink today.

so i'm glad this first phase is over and now am looking forward to the next few weeks and then months ahead to see what becomes of this whole grouplife stuff. i've spent the last 9 months preparing, studying, praying, and thinking about the launch of these groups and now that day is here.

the first group meets on thursday and the other one will start next sunday.

"God, i pray for your blessing on each persons life as they take another step towards you by joining a lifegroup for authentic community and spiritual growth. thank you for all you've already done in people's lives and for the life change you will bring in the weeks and months to come. in Jesus name i pray, amen."

// today i'm thankful for:
1. grouplink
2. lifegroup
3. dried cranberries
4. our au pair
5. air conditioning

--------------------------

wow has it been that long??

well as of late this blog has gone the way of the "back burner". it's been almost 3 weeks since i last posted. and had i been diligent about it there were lots of great things to write about in that time.

let's recap quickly . . . we got back from mexico and then the following week we had all the cousins over for 3 days and 3 nights. we decided to take them all camping for two of the nights. so that was and adventure. deb and i (who don't normally camp - at all!) in the woods with 7 kids! (ages 9mo, 2-3yr olds, 5yr old, 2-6yr olds, and a 9yr old)

the following week the girls had a week of VBS at a local church. what was exciting about this one was that on the last day (friday) the church was going to take all the kids to a water park in moses lake. anna and danielle were old enough to be a part of the vbs, but julia wasn't quite old enough. but the older girls had a blast doing something "on their own" - we didn't go with them the day of the water park. and we had fun spending time with the younger two (julia and rachel) for a couple hours each day.

and this past week has been spent with wedding preparations. my sister, elia, drove over from minnesota with her fiancé because they're getting married here tomorrow. so we've spent time with them. went shopping for various wedding things. and basically have had a great time with "all the family".

and this morning anna woke up at the same time that i did. i was really looking forward to getting up before anyone, getting ready, and then coming to the church to get some work done before the wedding rehearsal tonight. but while i was shaving she came in to use the bathroom and then asked if i wanted to play scrabble with her. i had a decision to make . . . would i somehow justify all the work i had to do and get out of playing a game with her that i knew in the end i'd end up helping her so it'd be like i was playing against myself. or do i put all my own things aside and take the time to spend with my six year old in the early morning while everyone else is asleep?

it's easy to write about that today because today i did make the right choice. i played scrabble with anna and yes i did end up helping her. and i even set it up so that she would win. but if truth be told, i don't always make the right choice. there are times that i'm selfish and instead put my kids, and/or wife aside so that i can do what "i want".

to that's how our last 3 weeks have been spent together as a family. it isn't always easy, but in all actuality, if it's a priority, it's not all that difficult either.


// today i'm thankful for:
1. my sister getting married
2. new bible
3. new shoes
4. new shoes (i got two pairs) :)
5. quietness

--------------------------
(this post was written because of a one day contest being sponsored by the parties listed below. the contest was to answer the following questions:

What are your favorite family activities and how do you find the quality family time? And if you don’t have quality family time, how do you make up for it? What challenges do you face?

feel free to enter the contest on your own blog or simply post responses in the comment section below.)

This post is brought to you in conjunction with Parent Bloggers Network & EA’s Wii-Boogie, a family gaming experience. Shake it. Sing it. Create it.
--------------------------

back home

(pictures at the bottom of the post)

--------------------
7.16.07 -- 8.35 am
well a lot has happened since my last update. saturday we did a youth outreach. it was the church's first attempt at doing an outreach specifically for youth instead of kids. i don't know if it went as well as they might have hoped. attendance was low and the location was odd. let me explain.

members of the congregation had gone into the neighborhood the night before to pass out flyers to invite people. so when we got to the neighborhood they didn't have us go out to invite people, they did announce the event was about to start over the loud speakers, but that only reached those within earshot.

and then the location was odd because i don't think it was where they (the members of the local church that set up the event) originally intended it to be. i think they wanted to do it at a park in the area but because we were going to have "live" music for this youth event we needed to get a special permit. i don't think they were able to get it or didn't hear back from the officials in time. so we ended up having it in the parking lot or courtyard of another church. which may not have been so bad but that church was having their youth worship band practice for their service later that evening. so there was noise coming from inside the church. we were making noise in the courtyard. the people from the other church didn't really seem interested in what we were doing there. and then the fact that we were inviting those that came to go to a different church, not the one that they were at. weird, huh?


--------------------
7.17.07 -- 8.29 am
anyways back to the "weekend wrap up". also on saturday we got to go out to eat for the first time. we went to a little taco stand type place. it was a little bigger than a taco stand but not very much seating and even that was outdoor seating. but the place was packed and once you tasted the little tacos you could tell why. they were mmm mmmm good. that's all they served was little tacos about 4 inch diameter and then beverages. i wasn't sure if danielle was going to like them or not. but she had some of the "bistec" tacos and loved them. which was great since the next night we went to a different taco restaurant. this second place also had bigger tacos, about 7-8 inch diameter tortillas. and she again ordered some carne asada (bistec) tacos and eat them all. she loves them. in fact she said when we return to grandview and go to a taco truck she'd like to get those kind of tacos. (so yes deb, she is eating)

sunday morning was church. they have a sign in the sanctuary that says the service times. it says that service starts at 10am on sundays. but we didn't leave the missionary's house until 10.30. and we got there at 11. so i'm not sure if that's just "mexican" time or if they were waiting for us to get there. it was pretty typical of other hispanic services i've been a part of. about 45 min of worship or more. then 20 minutes of alter time. (which was quite a unique experience for those who've never been a part of one) let me just say there was a lot of crying and people being slain in the Spirit. and then ending with a sermon, which this time was probably shorter than normal since the youth pastor from the other church preached so it wasn't an hour or longer.

we were planning on doing an outreach sunday afternoon after lunch, but some of the folks from the other team were feeling quite sick - not sure if from the tacos we ate out or something else. anyways they (the local church or the engage missions people) said we should probably take the afternoon off. so we went back to the hotel after eating lunch. we got there around 3.45pm and had until 7pm when they were going to pick us up for dinner. which was really nice, i got a long nap. maggie went with nancy to the mall to try to find her some more clothes.


9.47 am
monday morning came and we were ready for our last day of ministry. we planned to do two separate programs today, one in the morning and one in the afternoon. well the morning one didn't get started until 11 am so when we got back to the church for lunch we decided to have our afternoon outreach be in the neighborhood right around the church. it seemed kinda odd to me to go to other neighborhoods and invite them to the church and then not invite those that live right near by.

it went great and i asked the pastor's son (enrique) and daughter (citlali) (24 & 16 respectively) if any of the kids that were there already went to the church. and the son said none. when i asked citlali she looked around and said only 2. so i hope this will bring more awareness for the church to those around the church.

we finished just in time too, because within 20 minutes it started raining hard. so hard in fact that some of the roads were flooded and some cars were getting stuck.

dinner was bbq chicken and jojos and corn. i was glad to be able to 'chat' with deb online during our dinner break. i love you babe.

after dinner the Missionary Associate took myself and the other two pastors out to starbucks. we did have to wait for him for quite a while since he was getting work on his van done all day and it still wasn't finished by after dinner time. anyways, we finally went and had a great time to just talk about missions in general, his family's experience with raising funds, and just our past missions trips and experiences.

we got back to the hotel around 9.30 pm and we ready to go to bed fairly quickly. i didn't hear it that much but it rained all night and around 2 am there was really loud thunder. i woke up around 5.30 am and it was still raining. so we're almost to the church now and it's a bright and sunny day. i'm sure the ground and grass is still wet so we'll see how many people come.

the church moved it's mid-week service from wednesday to tuesday so that i could preach tonight. i'll be preaching a message i preached at our church on april 15th, 2007 called "Power to Change". you can find it on iTunes podcast page if you look up "grandview sermons" or you can go to our church website www.grandviewag.com and click on the media link at the top.

i'll write more later and let you know how it all went.


--------------------
7.21.07 -- 8.55 am
well, we're back in the usa and are glad to be home. sorry (mom) it took so long to write an update. but here it goes.

the service went fine. just like any other hispanic service. the only thing that made it memorable was the fact that it rained. and i mean RAIN! the church had a metal roof and you could hear the rain very easily. it started raining about the time the pastor was wrapping up the prayer time and getting ready to introduce me. well once i got up to speak it really started raining. in fact it seemed that the louder i got to be heard over the rain the harder it rained. finally i just said we should take a 5 minute break to experience the rain. after about 10 minutes the rain subsided and the service continued.

wednesday was our free day. we went to a huge catholic cathedral for a little while and then we went to an open market. it was a three story building with vendors of all sorts of crafts, candies, souvenirs, electronics, food, clothes, shoes, and pirated dvds. it was huge and crowded (skinny isles and lots of people). we found some great things to bring back to our loved ones, but it was nice to get out of there. after that we went to a modern mall. prices weren't that different at the mall, but it was air conditioned and cleaner. oh and they had a VIP movie theater there. we didn't go because all the movies were in spanish. (they were showing ratatoullie - but it was dubbed in spanish) according to the engage students it's an "extra nice" theater where you sit in lazy boy seats and they bring a menu to you for your snacks. and the price is only about $10, so about the same as the price of a regular theater in the states.

thursday was our travel home day and we were ready. our flight was supposed to leave around 2.35pm but for some reason got delayed. and then the airline was having trouble find us connecting flights out of phoenix. they ended up putting us on a different flight on another airline. the only thing was that it didn't leave until 8.05 pm! so we got time to hang out at the airport. the flight was nicer than the one we came on and it was a non-stop flight to portland. and since it was such a long flight we got a meal and a movie.

we got in to portland at 10.49pm and then finally made it out of the airport and on our way home. we stopped briefly to get gas a little after midnight on the outskirts of portland and then i slept most of the way home. we were dropped off around 3.45am. it was nice to be home.

on friday night we had our "thank you dessert" for those who had helped and supported us. we shared pictures and stories and even did some of the dances that we had done for the kids in mexico.

so it's nice to be done with our trip. now it's back to all my other duties. being a husband, father and pastor. (i'm preaching on sunday)

oh . . . i almost forgot i found out from deb that my imac was messed up after moving it from the church to the house and only showed a black screen for a while. and then after her and pastor fixed that it would turn on but the colors were all 'neon' looking. anyways i came home and got that fixed, thankfully. (it needed the PRAM reset - i'm not sure what that is or does, but i read it on an apple discussion thread and it worked) but i'm still without a laptop. i'll be saving up this time for a macbook pro.

here's some pics:

and some more:

and just a few more:

// today i'm thankful for:
1. a soft bed
2. air conditioning
3. being home
4. being a whole family again
5. being with my wife again

--------------------------

friday the 13th in mexico

7.13.07 -- 6.36 pm
we're all on "the bus" now on the way back to the missionaries house for dinner. we've completed our third kids outreach. overall the word i would use to describe it is - HOT! now it's not the 105+ that it's been in grandview, but in our defense it isn't as humid there as it is here too. AND we aren't spending all day outside walking the streets, playing soccer, and doing choreographed dances either. no, instead we run from our air conditioned house to our air conditioned car to our air conditioned work place and then back again. needless to say we are all ready for a rest and some good food.

the other thing that i was struck with today was just how 'unifying' the Body of Christ can be. what i mean is that by being in the Body can make best friends and partners and co-laborers out of otherwise strangers. to give you a little picture, at the last outreach we completed there was our team from grandview, another team from yakima, four students from the 'engage' ministry, and then another handful of 5-7 young people from the church we are partnering with. we all participated in the presentations today (it was even vernice's turn to give her testimony and it was great.) 

we were the Body! we had one faith, one Spirit, one baptism, one Father, and one purpose today. the moment that hit me today i just about started crying. (but i thought that would seem kinda odd to all the kids that we were playing soccer with) :-)

this truly is a different kind of trip for me than the others i've participated in before. before we always had prepared in advance what we were going to be doing and then went and did it. this time we didn't have anything planned. not one drama, song, dance, skit, or puppet routine. we were completely open to doing whatever became available to do. and oddly enough the yakima team also came with no preset agenda either. so it makes it that much more significant and almost necessary that we all work together, all doing our share, all serving the Lord.

and the other thing that's different from this trip is that i've missed my family (deb in particular) more than any other trip i've ever been on. most trips i was so excited to go and loved every minute of it. and then at the end of the trip i was surprised that the time had gone by so quickly. all the while not thinking very much of my family. and when i was a teen or single i didn't really think of my family back home at all during my trips. but with this trip i began missing deborah on the drive over to portland. and i haven't really stopped missing/longing for her. if it were not for the fact that i know that God still has more prepared for me/us to do and learn on this trip i'd be just fine leaving tonight.

i miss you deborah. i miss you anna. i miss you julia. i miss you rachel. and i miss you some more deb.

much love and we'll see you soon.

// today i'm thankful for:
1. deborah
2. anna
3. danielle
4. julia
5. rachel

--------------------------

not what i expected

good morning everyone!

well it's finally over. our 3 months of no cable or fast internet connection at home. i have several observations about our time "unplugged". and i hope to be posting those "regularly" over the next few days/weeks/ or whenever i remember something else.

but one thing i will say now. simply . . . we're not going back! at least we don't have any plans to right now or for the immediate future. we have started Netflix.com so that we have some media entertainment (that we can be selective and choose). and i've also restarted most of my podcast subscriptions.   it might be too small to see but i've now got 61 'unplayed' podcasts and another 10 currently downloading.

things i didn't expect from our time 'unplugged':

1)  i'm not dying to get cable and internet access back on at home.  cable not a big deal to me - internet access . . . this was something that i thought i'd be eager to turn back on.  but i've realized that yes i was online WAY too much.  and i simply don't need to be.  and that by not being online so much makes my wife happier.  (and what husband doesn't want that!)

2)  i didn't write as much as i thought i would be.  but i would say that i was more mentally active.  i read more.  i thought more clearly.  basically my mind wasn't "cluttered" with frivolous stuff.

3)  i noticed my kids more.  i wouldn't claim that i became the "perfect" father (lets face it only God fills that spot).  but i would say that i simply spent more time with them.  and although current psychology may argue that what kids need is more quality versus quantity of time.  i would say that kids need both.  and that you're more likely to have those quality time moments the more quantity time that you have!

as i said before i hope to make this blog a regular part of my life again.

oh, and i almost forgot.  one of the last times i wrote i mentioned not letting a "cat out of the bag".  well at least for those locally, you know that the 'cat is out'.  our pastor will be taking a sabbatical/respite/extended vacation (we're not really sure what to call it) for most of the summer.  his last sunday for the summer will be this father's day.  then on sunday evening he heads to seattle for a flight monday to Togo, Africa.  he will be back on july 2nd.  and then will come back to preach/share about his missions trip on july 8th.  and then he will be on 'vacation' until the last sunday in august.   so in all he's gone a total of 8 sundays this summer.

 i will be preaching most of those sunday's although we do have a guest speaker for the week that i will be leading a team to mexico on a missions trip.  and then my sister will also be sharing during the summer.

anyways so a busy summer ahead!

// today i'm thankful for:
1.  almost being done being sick
2.  safari 3 beta (for mac and windows too)
3.  summer vacation
4.  blogging again
5.  having my wife as my girlfriend

--------------------------

what's your religious grade??

i got an 88/100. if you click on the title above or this link, it will take you to an article in usatoday that talks about how americans get an "F" in religion. on the left side of the article there is a test you can take to see where you'd score.

now compared to the rest of the US population scoring an 88 i guess is pretty good. but it got me to thinking about how much i DON'T know about other religions. which really started to get me thinking . . . how in the world would i know how to reach, understand, much less minister to people of other faiths if i don't even know what they believe or where they're coming from.

i've also been recently challenged by a message from wes davis. he's the lead pastor at newlife kitsap church. he spoke recently at a workshop at the Northwest Ministry Network annual conference. you can download the individual message here or subscribe to the Northwest Ministry Network podcast via iTunes with these and more excellent messages.

to give you the "gist" of it - wes speaks on the challenge that the longer people are Christians the more they begin to live in a bubble; isolated from the very people they once were and are "trying to reach". it's not necessarily that these people are self centered or snobby. but it's just a natural progression of events. if you started out and didn't know Christ and had all "non-Christian"* friends and then became saved and got involved in church. invited your "non-Christian" friends. and then they became Christians and you made new friends in your church. then all the people in your "circle of influence" are all Christians.

so then you i have gotten to the point where it's hard for me to name 5 "non-Chrisitian" friends that i actually have a genuine relationship with.

as i once heard it said, "if we are called to be fishers (of men), then at some point we should smell like fish."**

i've stopped smelling like fish a long time ago. in fact i think i may have gotten to the point where i don't even like going near places that do. yes, i work at a middle school and there are hundreds of kids that i know that are in need of Christ, but i'm limited at school by how much i can say. and yes i go to the grocery store and see "mostly" the same checkers/workers, etc; but i don't see them as people i see them as workers (at best acquaintances) but i'm going to make a conscious effort to change that. and it's going to take work though. it's not easy. it's not the "natural" order of life.

leave your score for the test and your level of "fish" odor in the comments below.


// today i'm thankful for:
1. sunny days
2. good news i received today
3. ipods and podcasts
4. missing my family
5. getting to see them soon

--------------------------
* i don't really like the terms that churches and Christians use to describe those who aren't Christians. i think it tends to lend it self to the "us vs. them" mentality that i'm describing. "non-Christians", "unsaved", "unchurched", even the terms "seekers" isn't quite helpful. and it truth be known "they" may even be offended of being labeled in such terms. the most accurate term i've found is in earl crep's book Off-Road Disciplines "the Sought". because it puts more emphasis on God as the Seeker and the one who in reality is the one drawing "all men unto himself". but i decided to use the term "non-Christians" here because as you can tell it takes quite a while to explain the term "the Sought".

** i understand the distinction of "being in the world but not of the world". so this doesn't mean that i'm going on a sinning rampage in order to better understand sinners. after-all the fisherman doesn't become a fish, but he does end up smelling like them.

"His"

(a prayer for my kids)
by abraham lara*

(that you may be)

confident in His might
full of His grace
flowing in His gifts
experiencing His people
living in His joy
showing His love
believing His promises
knowing His mercy
encouraged by His voice
obeying His Word
following His steps

// today i'm thankful for:
1. "closing night" tomorrow
2. strawberry/banana milkshakes
3. beginning community (next thursday)
4. daffodils
5. clean rooms

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* this was written at our recent Parental Guidance Required class when asked what we envisioned our kid's spiritual lives to look like when they are adults. the above is what i wrote.

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the 3rd place (and 4th)

if you haven't read "Off Road Disciplines", go ahead and order it today.

in that book one of the concepts that he writes about is "the 3rd place". if i recall correctly he borrowed the idea from someone else, but the premise is that people want a "3rd place", a community to be a part of. everyone has a 'home' (1st) place, and a 'work' (2nd) place, but they want that "3rd place". a place away from work stuff and home stuff.

for some people that becomes a bar, such as the hit show "Cheers". for others it becomes a coffee shop, as in "Friends" or "Sienfeld" (yes i'm dating myself). or maybe a hamburger joint, as in "Saved by the Bell" (okay now i'm really dating myself). and then yet for others it becomes the church, as in . . . okay so there's no sitcom with that example. and for others that 3rd place is myspace, facebook, or some other online community (blogging). (there is another option: where people choose not to be in a 3rd place - a community. instead they retreat to individual activities: painting, running, gardening, knitting, etc.)

now as a church staff member (and specifically as "small group ministry" being a part of my job description) i would like to see small groups or the church be that 3rd place for people. the place they feel "where everybody knows your name". the place they build relationships together, share life together, have fun together, cry together, and grow together.

so now here's my dilemma: that 3rd place i just described for everyone else in the preceding paragraph; for me is a 'work' place. i believe most readers know that in addition to being on staff at the church, i also work at the local middle school. so in one sense the church is a 3rd place for me, but i also find myself wanting to retreat to a 4th place. and i've already previously written about the tension between family time and work time. for me that '4th place' has take more the form of the individual activities; running or exercising, online surfing, or writing.

and i'm not the only one that's in this predicament. i've been on staff or leadership at several churches and have heard from various church workers similar stories. in fact one such worker voiced once what many of us have felt, when they told me they were actually glad that a particular program was ending because "they were tired of getting together" with everyone.

it's not that we don't believe in what we're recommending for everyone else. it's the fact that it's not that "3rd place" for us, it's more of a second 2nd place. now what i don't know is, would i still feel this way if i wasn't working at the school? if the church was able to be my only work place, would i be able to join a small group at our church and feel that 'it' was my 3rd place? or would i still feel 'pastoral' and thus in a 'work place'?

or maybe my issue goes even deeper. because as i look back on my life, i don't think i've ever had a "3rd place". i didn't have a group of 'best' friends that i hung out with every day; in high school or college. i don't think i ever 'fit' in or thought "this is my clan". i've hung out with lots of people, would even say i had many friends. but i don't think i've ever "been known" and "known others" in the sense that i've seen other have (and hope will develop in the small groups).

i've had plenty of opportunities to delve deeper. to share. to know. and be known. but i haven't for some reason. i've held back. as in this article, "of mice and myspace"; i've been living as a neatly edited, showcase version of me. have i fooled everyone? probably not. have i fooled most?? probably not on that one either. but i have a hunch that they've been satisfied with the version of me that i let them see. why?? i think because they're secretly afraid that if they 'call me' on it, then they'll feel obligated to reveal their 'true' self. and so, we continue to dance around each other. although to be fair to myself, i feel that this blog has been a bit of an outlet to being transparent.

and for me this is one of the reasons i'm choosing 'the acoustic life'; to find out "the why?" for me. and then to find my balance between 1st, 2nd, and 3rd place (and maybe the 4th, too). i really feel that this 'acoustic life' period for the next 3 months (who knows maybe longer) will be a defining time in my life. and i don't think it's an accident that it's happening the year that i'm 30.

so here's to being transparent . . .

my name is abraham lara. (i don't have a middle name)*
i'm 30 years old.
and always cry during hallmark commercials. (sometimes even ones i've seen a dozen times)


// today i'm thankful for:
1. wisdom
2. uncertainty
3. cell phones
4. being 30
5. having 4 little girls

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* my birth certificate says my name is abraham trujillo lara. trujillo is my mother's maiden name. i didn't like trujillo as my middle name because it didn't sound like any of my other friend's middle names; it sounded like a last name. so when i could (i think age 13 with my father's signature) i had it legally removed from my name. at the time, and i think a little even now, my mother felt a sense of rejection since i was taking her name out of mine.

it wasn't till i was much older (as in working at the middle school) that i learned that it was common practice in mexico for all kids to have their mother's maiden name as one of their middle names. (mexicans also have a tendency to have more than one middle name). had i known this would i still have changed it?? probably, my justification being, "we're not in mexico, and i wasn't born there either."

i did add include it on our wedding invitations though. most wedding invitations give the bride and groom's first and middle names. i put trujillo as my middle name. i think it made it up to my mom for having taken it out. but just to show that some people didn't see it as a middle name, many of our wedding gifts said congratulations to "Abraham and Deborah Trujillo". :-)

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the acoustic life

and so it begins . . . for the next 3 months (90 days) the lara family will be living 'the acoustic life'.

for the next 90 days we will be living life mostly unplugged. that's right- no tv, no movies, no INTERNET, no podcasts, etc. in our home for the next 90 days! i say "mostly" because i will be on the computer for 'work' related tasks. (after-all i do manage our church's website, sermon and video podcasts, and shoot and edit our production videos)

so i'm not really sure how often i'll be checking email or even how often i'll be writing to this post (i've still got to talk to deb more). but one thing is for sure 'i WILL be writing'. in fact that is one of the things i'm looking forward to during this 3 month adventure; being able to have time to do all the things i put off doing. so i may write to and read comments from this blog on a semi-regular basis or i may not write at all until june. (in which case i'll probably have a novel ready to publish) what do ya think . . . is blogging 'work' related?

so we've taken the plunge. this morning i cancelled our cable tv and internet services and went and bought the whole family new pens/pencils and notebooks. so why in the world are we doing this?? well it started out as my idea. one day i was thinking that if i was going to have a family with fond memories of growing together it was going to have to be me as the dad that was going to have to create some of those memories.

so i sat down and started thinking of experiences and times of relating to one another in order to 'create' those memories. AND if any of this was actually going to take place then it was going to have to be 'on purpose' and put on the calendar.

i decided that each year we needed 4 "GRAND" events. these would be things that our family looked forward to every year and would be remember for years to come. this is what i came up with:
1/ "the Laras Winter Weekend" (every year over MLK Jr weekend) - a time to get away and either have fun in the snow or fun in the sun.
2/ "Cousin Camp" (yearly the beginning of the first week of april - 4days & 3nights) - this is an extended time for all the cousins to spend the night at our house. including games, outings, and complete 'snack shack'.
3/ "Single Mom & Dad Days" (3rd week in July) - for the first half of the week one of the parents stays home and plans 'special' times with the kids while the other parent gets to have a few days alone wherever they want! (budget permitting) then on wednesday we come back as a family and then the second half of the week the parents reverse. this not only gives the kids special memories they'll remember as the time "just with mom" or "just with dad", but also give each parent a yearly time to look forward to uninterrupted time alone!
4/ "Dinner & a Movie Week" (1st week in October) - for one whole week we will go out to eat EVERY night of the week and then watch a movie together; rented or in the theater.

these would supplemented by 'smaller' events such as:
1/ "one-on-ones" (various times throughout the year) - dates with mommy and daddy (at least 2 per year per kid per parent; so a total of 16 dates in the lara house with kids).
2/ "no electricity days" (1 every feb/may/aug/nov) - times to just have fun doing stuff that doesn't include electricity. i.e. live life like "little house on the prarie" (within reason, i mean we're not taking cold showers!)
3/ "media fast weeks" (every march/june/sept/dec) - a time to just clear our minds and not 'be conformed to this world'.

in addition to this we also planned in 3 times a year to have an overnight stay away from the kids for at least one night. this will happen in april/august/ and december. (in december it will be a couple nights since it's around our anniversary celebration) oh, and these are in addition to our 'regular' date nights, and 'family meetings'; each every other week.

oh, and we've put our money where out mouth is. we reworked our whole budget so that we are setting aside funds each month towards funding our wild and crazy fun. so when it comes time for 'cousin camp' we already have funds to cover the fun. and when it comes time for a "weekend together"; we have the funds to cover it. and so forth, and so forth.

so it all started as my idea for creating 'family memories' on purpose. but my idea was to only have it for one week every couple of months. but as deb and i talked more recently we felt that our whole family needed some "spring cleaning" in our hearts and minds. we were allowing tv, movies, the internet, computer games, etc to take up so much of our time. and on top of wasting time it was making us more irritable with each other and ourselves. so in true "Lara" fashion we decided to go all out and just take the plunge for 90 days!!!

feel free to call us, email (although you may not get a response very quickly via email), or 'send us a card' (what a novel idea).

we'll plug back in June 11th. until then, good night!

ps. be sure to tell us if the world ends! :-)


//today i'm thankful for:
1. paper
2. pens
3. books
4. words
5. life
--------------------------

20/20 hindsight, today (updated)

[UPDATE: i had forgotten to include the "today i'm thankful for" section, it's now included]
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there's those moments in your life that you look back on with 20/20 hindsight and think, "that was a defining moment in my life."

most of the time you don't even know that those moments will change your life, behavior, or world-view at the moment that they occur.

let me give an example. "once upon a time . . ." i was a substitute teacher in west valley and i was called to sub for an agriculture class ('01 or '02). prior to this i had heard that eating pork wasn't good 'because their dirty animals.' i mean, i wasn't eating their skin. but i didn't really believe it until that day.

that day i saw with my own eyes a pig eating it's own feces. this immediately made me nauseous and i quit all pork consumption immediately. (for about 2-3 weeks) for some reason that image burned in my head wasn't enough to rid me of "Pizza Hut's Meat Lovers Pan Pizza". a few weeks later i slowly started to start eating pork again. but every once in a while i saw in my mind THAT pig chowing down.

it wasn't until years later that deb and i read a book called "The Maker's Diet". (actually deb read all of it, i only read part of it) anywhoo . . . one of things the book mentioned was specific reasons why eating pork was bad for your health, the digestive system of a pig compared to say a cow, and other foods to stay away from. (shellfish - or "cockroaches of the sea" as they called them. bye, bye lobster, shrimp, clams, ect.) and it was in that moment that the vision of the 'poop eating pig' came back to my memory. and since then (feb '06) that i have not knowingly eaten any pork, or shellfish.

so for me it was the "knowledge" (reading the book) and the "experience" (subbing in west valley) that created that "defining moment" for me. i can look back now and realize that was the turning point for me. i didn't know it then, but i do know it now.

>>>>> fast forward to today (march '07) >>>>>

anyways, i feel like i'm in the middle of 'one of those moments'. this time it has to do with our church, and it's not really a moment but more of a season. and as i said it's happening right now, not in 20/20 hindsight. i "know" that our church is in a state of transition/change because of my involvement in leadership and as a staff member. but to me it seems like more than that.

over the last few years we've read books, listen to podcasts, and watched videos of people describing the change that took place in their own church/organization in 'the early days'. and now those organizations are thriving and have a working model to continue that success in the future. they describe the difficulties, struggles, and the 'staff differences' that need to be worked through. and that's where i feel we are right now.

over the past 6 - 12 months our 'core' staff has worked through a lot of issues individually and as a team. and we're still have a long way to go to complete our transition, but i have the sense that it's something more significant than what we know or even what we're actually planning. years from now when our ministry looks dramatically different than it currently does and we are trying to explain our success to others via books, videos, podcasts, or workshops; THIS is the time (Q3 '06 thru ?? '07 or '08) that we'll look back on as being the 'defining moments'. THIS will be our 20/20 hindsight. and the 'action' we take during THESE DAYS will be our character and fulfilled (or failed) dreams of tomorrow.


today i'm thankful for //
1. rachel's smiles
2. 'half days' at school
3. garlic bread
4. neighbor kids
5. comfy couches
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LOL [updated]

(UPDATE: added an brief explanation for my mom at the end of the 'quoted' story.)
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i've found this phrase somewhat ironic. because i've "IM'ed" with people, and been in the presence of other people "IMing" someone when we used the phrase, but didn't actually 'Laugh-Out-Loud'.

so why do we use that phrase. it then got me to think how i use the phrase. i use it when i'm online not ever when in person or on the phone. (it would be obvious to the other person if i was actually laughing out loud then) when i'm reading something that i respond via an email, comment, or IM. and since i don't usually laugh out loud when doing those things i write it when something is actually funny enough to elicit a 'mild chuckle' or maybe even just a 'slight grin'.

so then i started thinking why do i RARELY ever actually laugh OUT LOUD when i'm online. well sometimes because i'm in a meeting and shouldn't actually be doing/reading what i am (insert grin here). or sometimes because there isn't THAT much truly funny stuff on the web. now before you send me links of you favorite funny jokes site, or youtube videos, or any other gimick to make me laugh; let me just say, i've seen it. or if i haven't actually seen it, i've seen something like it. hmmmm, wasn't there this wise guy one time that said something like, "there is nothing new under the sun". [sarcasm intended]. and i've gotten so "used" to this stuff that it isn't really funny anymore. it's almost 'predictable' in fact. actually even the show 24 is becoming 'predictable' for deb and i. and this whole having-to-wait-through-commercials-and-a-whole-week-for-another-episode is just about enough for us to say forget the whole thing, we'll wait till the whole season's out on dvd. (ps. so keep it up mag).

anyways so it was truly refreshing for me to find this site "The Cleverest.com"; which had this story:

Monday, December 29, 2003

I think that blaming one of your less desirable genetic traits on the parent that passed it down to you is pointless. Let's use big ears as an example. If a guy has gigantic ears, he'll most likely blame his big-eared father for passing down the gene. But everyone knows that you have no control over which genes you pass down and which ones you don't. It's not the father's fault he has big ears. If anything, the dude should blame his mother for marrying the big-eared freak.

now that truly made me LOL. but they don't have a comments section, deb wasn't home to share it with yet, and i wasn't chatting with anyone, so i just had to share here. (oh, and mom, i don't actually think that of you or dad, or my ears for that matter. i just thought it was a funny story) :-P

// today i'm thankful for:
1. finding new gems on the net
2. deb's play practices are almost coming to an end
3. not running out of gas (in my car, not referring to 'me')
4. spring is coming!!
5. podcasts (below is a pic of the podcasts i currently subscribe to)

--------------------------

my wife is happy. [updated]

[UPDATE: fixed the station from 89.9 to 91.1 as suggested by a commenter. (thanks for the reminder mag)]
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in fact my wife is ALWAYS happy when this happens. she ALWAYS looks forward to seeing 'these people'. and she ALWAYS doesn't want it to ever end.

let me explain . . .


this coming monday is my in-laws (or in-loves, as my mom would say) 30th wedding anniversary. and we've just come back from a 'surprise' party that deborah put together for them. it ended up not being that much of a surprise since she told them about it, and those who were invited didn't keep secrets very well. but the 50+ people that came to celebrate were all glad that it happened.



anyways, the idea came to her about a month and a half or so ago when she was reading through proverbs and got to the verse about her "children rising up and calling her blessed" and was wondering if that would ever happen. as i remember it, she was having a particularly 'trying' day with the kids and didn't know if that verse would ever come true. * and then the thought suddenly struck her -- BAM -- that means that it's 'bout time she rose up and called her mother/parents blessed! what was she going to do to fulfill scripture in her parents lives.

so she realized that this 'just happened' to be the year that her parents were celebrating their 30th anniversary. so for the past month or so she's been making phone calls, writing emails, sending invitations, holding secret meetings, setting up lodging (for some), getting volunteers, setting a meeting place, etc., etc., etc. and she pulled it off. everyone that came had a grand time. they thanked her ad nauseam for putting together everything and how grateful they were to have a chance to get together.

now there's something you must know about deborah and her parents. deborah's parents met and were married at a commune called "the Christian House". (in fact they were married 2 WEEKS after going on their first date!) and then a year later deborah was born into this commune. and even though deborah was only 3 years old when the group split up, those people are some of the strongest bonds and 'family' that she has. the group looks for excuses to get together as often as they can. for many many years they would annually get together every 'day after thanksgiving' for a time to share thanksgiving again with their 'other' family.**

now i have a somewhat 'bitter-sweet' relationship with all these people. when we were first married and i was 'practically dragged' to this 'after thanksgiving' ritual i knew that i wasn't going to look forward to this day. to me they were living in the past, wishing for better days, and basically stuck in 1980 something. i resigned myself to pretending to put on a smile, feigning interest in any kind of conversation, eating casseroles and potato salad, and doing my best not to fall asleep in the name of "making my wife happy".

in contrast, in my family, i never grew up with that close knit network of friends and extended family. both my father and mother's side of the family lived in southern california and we in washington state. we'd visit them once a year around christmas time, and some of them we didn't get to see, if they weren't home at the time we went to their house. i remember longing to be like the "valnes clan". they would talk about having family reunions on both sides of the family just about every year. and would come back telling of all the fun they'd had.***

and 'now' . . . i'm the 'associate pastor' at our church. and one of my main responsibilities is to spearhead our church's 'small group' ministry. this is something that i've read, studied, seen glimpses of, and know is a vital part of our church's future. in fact i think it's crucial for anybody to live a successful life to not be isolated to themselves. anyways, another soapbox for another time.

so i've been struggling with the methods and strategies of how to get people into 'authentic and meaningful' relationships - "living life together" if you will. but i don't want it to seem forced, ritualistic, or worse seem like just another 'gimmick' to make a big hoopla in church; that ends up being a 'clanging cymbal'.

and so then i come to another of these "Christian House" get togethers and suddenly realize, "THIS IS IT!, THIS IS WHAT I WANT OUR SMALL GROUPS TO BE!!!" but how in the world do you get this kind of 'community' without having people live together in an old hotel for years at a time? how do you get people to love each other so much that they're willing to drive miles and hours away? (some even trying to arrange air travel from california to come to a 30th anniversary. i mean, its not even their 50th) how do you get 3 year olds to grow up and love getting together with her parent's best friends after decades of not being together on a constant basis?

and then how do you prevent it from becoming something that 'said 3 year olds' future husbands don't loathe? how do you prevent it from becoming a group of old foggies living in the past, wishing for better days, singing the old songs, and basically stuck in 2007 something?

or then again . . . maybe they're not?? maybe i'm just jealous? maybe they aren't stuck? maybe their love isn't bound by time, they simply resume where they left off? maybe they actually are all that i long to be? in fact if i were to honest with you, i would tell you that even while writing this post in the midst of all of them, my eyes have teared up more than once seeing the rich joy and deep bonds of friendship they share.

so deborah, i'm sorry for being a grumpy old fart. i'm sorry to everyone else who knows me that's had to put up with or make excuses for my anti-social behavior. and i'm sorry to everyone at "Christian House" that i've been too quick to judge before taking the 'plank out of my own eye'.

i started this post at 10.00 pm and now after clean up as we drive back home at 11.43 pm, my wife is happy.

and i think i'm beginning to understand 'why".


today i'm thankful for //
1. amazon.com
2. my 'ill' math skills
3. people i know
4. positive life radio; 89.9 91.1
5. having kids who know their cousins

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* like i said, it's as i remember the story. so deb if you read this and say it's not so, just remember it makes for a better story with my version.

** i think they became so important to deborah not because she remembers that much from 3 years old and younger (even though she says she does) but more so from these, and other, annual get togethers. where they would reminisce, sing the 'old songs', and basically catch up on life. i think she would hear their stories and what they told she used to be like and adopted their memories as her own.

*** tell me if i'm wrong, but i think mag that they are one of the reasons you're (and we're) so grateful to have our kids growing up so close to their cousins. and one of the main reasons i'm so excited to have "COUSIN CAMP"!

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praise junkie??

For the past ten years, psychologist Carol Dweck and her team at Columbia (she’s now at Stanford) studied the effect of praise on students in a dozen New York schools. Her seminal work—a series of experiments on 400 fifth-graders—paints the picture most clearly.

Dweck sent four female research assistants into New York fifth-grade classrooms. The researchers would take a single child out of the classroom for a nonverbal IQ test consisting of a series of puzzles—puzzles easy enough that all the children would do fairly well. Once the child finished the test, the researchers told each student his score, then gave him a single line of praise. Randomly divided into groups, some were praised for their intelligence. They were told, “You must be smart at this.” Other students were praised for their effort: “You must have worked really hard.

”Why just a single line of praise? “We wanted to see how sensitive children were,” Dweck explained. “We had a hunch that one line might be enough to see an effect.”

Then the students were given a choice of test for the second round. One choice was a test that would be more difficult than the first, but the researchers told the kids that they’d learn a lot from attempting the puzzles. The other choice, Dweck’s team explained, was an easy test, just like the first. Of those praised for their effort, 90 percent chose the harder set of puzzles. Of those praised for their intelligence, a majority chose the easy test. The “smart” kids took the cop-out.

The Power (and Peril) of Praising Your Kids -- New York Magazine

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i found this article recently and it got me thinking, a lot. could it be that we're doing more harm than good for our kids/youth (whether ours or those we minister to) with all this "praise"??

the whole article is a good read and well worth the time.

i've always felt kinda weird at school when in the name of 'political correctness' teachers can't tell a student that their answer is "WRONG" (when they are, of course). because after all you wouldn't want to bruise or damage the kid's ego. for those who know me, i'm not one to give out praise just to make someone feel better.

but this article got me thinking about the kind of praise i'm giving and in particular about the praise i give to my own kids. now i know that every parent considers "their" kid to be a genius and the smartest kid in town. but not every parent has my kids, and not every parent has Lara* kids! ;-) so my kids actually are the smartest kids in town.

and i've now been wondering if i shouldn't tell them so much. i'll be testing this out for a while and see what i find out.

anyways that's about it, i just wanted to share this insightful article. any thoughts??

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* at school my mom was a guest speaker for one of the classes i'm in because of the adversities she had to overcome in order to go to college. anyways, during her speech she mentioned that i learned how to read, write (in cursive no less), add, subtract, and do simple multiplication and division before i entered kindergarten. well now, when the students don't know the answer to a question and i'm pressing them to try again, they now give up with some comment like, "no, mr. lara i wasn't a genius like you when i was in kindergarten, i can't do it." they also know that our kids are homeschooled and presume that they must be child prodigies as well.needless to say my kids have good genes in them.

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// today i'm thankful for:
1. nutella (soooo, good)
2. the girls finally cleaned their rooms
3. daylight savings coming early this year
4. dinner with friends last night
5. great deals on sport coats (95% savings!!! i got two for $8.60!)
--------------------------

far fetched ramblings 1 week before PRISM ends [updated]

[UPDATE: deb corrected me by telling me that Lisa's maiden name was 'Ecklund" and that her new married name was 'Kindleberger' - sorry Lisa. :-)]

--------------------------
[disclaimer: in case you couldn't tell from the title sarcasm and silliness are fully intended here. don't be 'flaming' me because you might get offended] ;-)

contrary to the "fat slob" mental picture i have in my mind, skinny people sleep more! indulge me, and i'll explain . . .

the past few weeks i've had the hardest time getting out of bed. and for me this isn't normal. i'm usually quite a 'morning person'. i get my best thinking, working, and focus in the morning. part of that is because i'm 'made' that way; and part of it is because everyone else is still asleep and thus i'm not distracted.*

so i've been trying to peg the reason why i've been having such a hard time. ideally i like to wake up between 5 and 5.30am. this gives me plenty of time to exercise, get ready, have my devotional time, and check the web/email, etc. that doesn't always happen, but i usually get myself out of bed by 6.00am. (btw, i'm supposed to be a work by 7.15am) but recently i've been lucky to drag myself out of bed by 6.30, usually 6.50, and sometimes as late as 7.10!**

so what's been wrong with me?? i've had several theories.

1) i haven't regularly exercised during the winter because i like to go running, but it's just plain cold. so my body isn't producing the endorphins to give me more energy during the day. (i know, i know that's just an excuse and 'hardcore' runners would mock me for not being 'dedicated' enough; but i don't think i have very many 'hardcore' runners on this blog so i shouldn't get to much flack. and i could have just done a different kind of exercise inside, but i didn't)

2) the days are so much darker in the mornings during the winter time so it's harder for my body to 'naturally' wake up on it's own.

3) deb and i have recently been on a '24' kick and at times staying up very late to watch episodes. (but this shouldn't make that much difference since when i was waking up early i was still able to go to sleep around 11pm - 12am)

4) and finally i've decided on this final theory: skinny people sleep more.

for those of you that don't know, i've been participating in the PRISM program at our church and have lost around 16-17 lbs. in the last 5 weeks. (let the cheers and congratulations begin, although i'll still be working on losing another 20-25 lbs.)

my thoughts went like this . . . i figured that since i've been losing weight and also having a hard time waking up; the two were related. i thought that it was the "fat-sos" (i know not a very pc term) that were slothful and slobs and slept in all the time. but i had it all wrong . . . since fat people require more calories to maintain their weight, i figured, they had to wake up earlier because they were hungry already. and at night they were hungry so they had to stayed up later to eat. sounds logical, right? plus i had some proof to back up my claim. i was sleeping longer and i had lost weight. deborah likes to sleep and she's a sexy, skinny woman. and finally my sister LOVES to sleep (she'd sleep till noon everyday if she could) and she's a skinny as a rail. and then there's this article: ABC News: Lose Weight in Your Sleep

i told this far-fetched idea to deborah and she said i had it all wrong. she said that i had it all backwards. skinny people don't sleep more because their skinnier. they are skinnier because they sleep more. in her mind, she's much rather sleep than stay up, or get up to eat. so since she's in bed for more hours of the day she doesn't eat as much and thus is skinnier. fat people are up longer and thus spend their time eating more, thus more calories.

so . . . am i destined to a life of sleeping in? will i ever see another sunrise again in anything less than a size 40 waist? will it ever get warm enough for me to start running again?? are you skinny and a morning person? are you fat and a like to sleep in too? speak up tell me about your theories in the comments below!


// today i'm thankful for:
1. life as i know it
2. friends fulfilling their destiny
3. getting up at 6.30 this morning
4. quicksilver
5. sarcasm
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* i don't remember always being a 'morning person'. in fact i would have categorized myself as the complete opposite. it wasn't until i was in college and was 'killing' myself staying up normally till 1am or later and then waking up early for class that slowly my thinking changed. to be more exact it was a girl named Lisa Ecklund (if she ever reads this, i know your married now lisa but i don't remember your current last name). a group of friends invited her to some activities we were doing that evening, but she declined because she would go to sleep earlier in order to wake up early. i asked (read: teased) her later about, "why in the world do you wanna wake up so early for?" and she responded, "there's just SO MUCH of the DAY that you miss out on if you're still sleeping" i think i remember her going on to comment about how beautiful God's creation is in the morning as well as the focus, distraction-free work, etc. so i tried it.

** 1st period at school doesn't start till 7.25am so i have a little flexibility of when anyone will actually notice i'm not there yet. and i don't live far from the school, which helps. :-)

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because i've gotten bored

this post will probably be quick and short and is primarily written because i've gotten bored at looking at the same post whenever i come to my own blog to check for comments!

i've been reading the NLT recently for my Bible reading. i was doing my devotional reading recently and came accross this verse:

"Listen to me! For I have important things to tell you.
Everything I say is right"
-Prov. 8.6

anyways it gave me a good chuckle. i know that this is Wisdom speaking when taken in context. but i couldn't help but think, it should be written on a card for all first time parents to memorize and repeat often to their chilren. i mean, "it's how we actually feel, right!? shouldn't we be transparent with our children and tell them how we feel."

:-)


// today i'm thankful for:
1. new blog friends
2. checking another "blog post idea" off my list
3. only 2 weeks left of Prism
4. strawberry smoothies
5. folded laundry
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communion sunday

well, hopefully you've been enlightened about 'the brighter side of computing life', called the Mac. but by the overwhelming response (wink, wink) of comments i can tell that it's time to move on to other topics.

i'd like to get your feedback on methods of taking the eucharist, communion, mass, the crackers and juice/wine, whatever you call it. i was sitting in church last month during our 'normal' time to take communion and trying to imagine what it would be like for a new person.

by the instructions we gave:
would they know what to do? why we're doing it? when to actually eat/drink it?

i've been to various churches before and each church does it slightly different, and some vastly different. so describe to me what your church does? how about churches you've visited? did you like it when you tried something new?

our current church serves communion every 1st sunday of the month. it has 'the elements' - some crackers and little cups of juice in some "communion" holders - up at a table in front of the sanctuary. when it's time for communion, the pastor calls for the board members (although sometimes when they aren't all there, other 'well respected' members are asked to help serve as well) to come up to serve the communion. they then go down the isles passing the trays up and down the pews where the people may take a cup and cracker. i don't think i've ever heard it stated but it's our custom to 'hold' the elements until everyone has been served. this is after the board members are done serving and then go back up to the front and wait for the other board members to be done and come up. at this time the pastor then takes a tray of the crackers and juice and personally serves each of the board members (or others that served). they then go sit down, and our pastor gives a brief devotional about the importance of communion in general or of each component, at which time we all partake of the elements together. (always the cracker first) then another short word about the 2nd element and then we down the juice. it's also interesting to note that although i've never heard it stated, our church also believes that communion is for all believers no matter what age. the key word is believers. according to scripture you could actually bring harm to yourself if you are not worthy. that's not to say that you have to recite certain prayers, be a certain age, or go through a membership class. you simply have to be a genuine believer in the Lord Jesus Christ as your Savior. anyways, we are then expected to put the little empty cups in the cup holders in front of us and not play with them for the rest of the service.

(this is very similar to what i did in the church i grew up in, and being the good little boy that i was i took it upon myself to clean up after the service was over, by collecting all those empty cups and disposing of them. actually i really just liked making the biggest tower of little cups every month. at least bigger than my sister's since we were both racing up and down the pews to collect as many as we could.)

so that's what we do at my church. what happens at yours? is it meaningful, or simply a ritual? do you fully understand why it's done? what have you experienced before that was meaningful, or just plain weird to you??

okay, enough questions . . . (oh and “Get a Mac”) :-)


// today i'm thankful for:
1. the weekend a day away
2. a surprise date night for deb on friday (unless she reads this then it won't be a surprise)
3. i've been reducing weight with the prism diet
4. a clean house
5. paydays!
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the balancing act

i was responding to a post by holly asking where's the balance between ministry and vocational work. i'm not wanting to hijack her conversation here, but i'm not sure if everyone reads her blog and/or everyone's comments on a particular post. and so i quote myself here:

and now concerning balance. if you ask me, pastor jon, maggie or anyone else called to ministry that also works vocationally and you'll hear a similar response, "i struggle with finding the balance." i've found this church very understanding of it's leaders being bi-vocational. it's not the same at every church. personally, in talking with pastor jon he's stated that he understands that at this point the church isn't able to provide me with an adequate compensation to provide for my family and so he understands that at times work will out weigh ministry and that that's ok. my first priority is to provide for myself and my family.

pastor understands this obviously because he's also in the same boat. and especially you and maggie who don't draw a salary from the church. and even though the church may pay for costs connected with you going to a leadership/development conference (registration/gas/food/books/etc) it still isn't free since they aren't necessarily compensating for lost pay at the 'other' job.

and so this is a topic that reoccurs in my thoughts consistently. "if i'm truly called should i quit my 'other' job to devote more time to ministry and rely on God to supply for my every need?" or would that simply be foolish since this IS the means that God has chosen to provide for my needs while doing ministry? paul in the new testament was also a tent-maker after-all.

and then i also came to a point where i had to admit no matter how much time i was able to devote to ministry, "would it ever be enough?" the call seems so big how could it ever all get done? i had to sit back and give it to God and say, "it's in your hands Lord, i've done what i can, may your grace be sufficient in my weakness" (2 cor 12.9)

hope that helps.

it's a topic that fluctuates in my mind every so often. and then if you throw 'family' into the mix, the balancing act gets even trickier.

on one hand, i think i should have enough faith to only do ministry and trust God to provide for my family's needs? on the other hand, i think shouldn't i also see my 'secular' job as also a ministry, a place for me to shine God's light in the midst of a hurting world? and then on another hand (yes more hands than i actually have) i think it's the church's fault for not being able to pay their staff full time wages, "if they just gave more!". isn't there a verse somewhere about oxen and muzzling? but then again, i knew the size of the church and the compensation they were able to provide before choosing to come. and then on the other hand, i think if i were able to devote more time to ministry, then maybe the church would grow quicker, and then they'd be able to pay staff better. but then i'm reminded that that sounds a lot like taking the role of the Holy Spirit, i can't do one thing to 'grow the church' that's HIS job.

in the end i think the balance is more of a give and take. it isn't always a 30% of me goes to work, 30% goes to ministry, 30% goes to family, and the remaining 10% goes to eating, sleeping, and myself time. the fact is there's sometimes that a lot of my time is devoted to ministry because of an upcoming event or project. and then there's times that my family gets priority.

and then there's the whole other conversation of time spent not doing what you want to do, but have to do because it pays the bills. like i spend about 7 hours at school everyday. do i like it? ya it's ok. do i feel most productive there?? in a word, no. do i feel that i could be elsewhere most of the time? most of the time. why do i continue then? because it's the largest portion of our income, and it's relatively easy.

as i've said before, the kids used to ask me why i was going to school. i stopped answering a long time ago, "because that's where i work." i now say, "because they pay me to be there."

so lets do the math: 7 hours at school + 7 hours sleeping + 2 hours doing misc (getting ready, eating, driving, etc.) = that leaves 33% of my day to do 90% of what i care about. (family, ministry, exercise, and 'me' time)

as you can see and probably experience daily, it's quite a balancing act simply to stay SANE and keep relationships 'getting along'.

i'm thankful for 2 cor. 12.9, “My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.”

// today i'm thankful for:
1. 3 month old babies (rachel)
2. a house of our own
3. fishtailing fun, while driving
4. a 'free' friday night
5. grapefruits
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"why do i feel rushed?"

so i've been reading this book: Off-Road Disciplines and we've also been going through somewhat of a forming/focusing of who we are, what our purpose is, and most importantly how we're to accomplish it all.

ok, stage thoroughly set. so i had this thought the other day and thought perhaps it was something others were feeling too*. specifically i was asking, "why do i feel like i'm rushing, through church?" i do the announcement time in our service and i constantly feel like i'm rushing through all of them. partly because sometimes there's so many things to announce, partly because i feel that the whole service is 'rushing', and partly because i feel everyone else that has a 'part' in the service is enduring my 'verbal church bulletin' in order to get to "their" part (which is the part that is important to them). rushing, rushing, rushing. the opening songs are rushing to get to the welcome/announcement time, the rest of worship rushes to dismiss the kids, which is rushed to get to the message time, and then (at least when i'm speaking) the message is rushed because i've got so much to say before church is 'supposed' to be over.

but mostly it's the announcement time, since that's what i'm doing and in charge of consistantly. when i was going to Northwest University one of my 'guest professors' once told us that when doing announcement time they should be done with purpose. that there should usually be very few announcements and not simply state "event 'x' is happening on 'x' date". but that there should be a why is "event 'x'" is happening, why is it important for our church, and why is it important for the people to be there.

so this is 'sorta' how i've tried to give the announcements. the problem is that people are constantly telling me 'other' things just before the servies begins that i need to announce. either because they're not in the bulletin or they don't feel they're getting much response from a bulletin 'blurb'. oh, i forgot to mention, i'm also the person that does the church bulletin. so personally i kinda know that no one really responds to a bulletin announcement. i don't even think that people respond that much more to a 'verbal' announcement from the mic.

and so i feel rushed to mention all these 'things' because otherwise someone will be upset that i forgot to mention their event. i think, and other leaders i've talked to agree, that the most effective means of 'advertising' (oh, deb and i are also the ones in charge of making 'video commercials' for various themes/events in our church) your event is face-to-face**.

so this got me to thinking . . . maybe the reason i'm feeling rushed is because I don't find the announcement time all that important to church life anymore. i mean in our world where we're overloaded with ads everywhere we go: tv, magazines, billboards, newspaper, internet, emails, junk mail, etc. do we really need anymore at church??

this in turn got me to thinking, what else at church do we do simply because it's what we've always known? how much else should we get rid of or rethink? what should we add to our services?

for the last few months of me being 'in charge' of the youth services we had more of a small group format that looked like this: met at my house, informal discussion about life, watched some random videos, or played a quick 'game' or icebreaker, no worship, no offering, no formal 'three point' message, no alter call. and yet more people came to that format than our 'traditional' service with a youthy-contemporary feel.

anyways that's about all for now, it's dinner time

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* it turns out at least in our church leadership they didn't feel rushed at all. i almost felt like they thought i was really weird for feeling this way in church. (they didn't say this out loud of course, but there's certain things you can 'tell' just by the facial expressions, tone of voice, and/or lack of feedback offered)

** and it also has to be something people actually need/want. otherwise no matter how much hype you throw at it, it's not going to make it great. can you say "Zune"! now compare that to the iPod which could stop advertising people would still talk about it and want it. see this video: CNN ridicules Micosoft Zune

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// today i'm thankful for:
1. laptops (that i can move around the house)
2. a clean house
3. unexpected company
4. video cameras
5. beef!
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