part of a different generation

i'm going to be turning 30 this year. (3 mo. 6 days to be exact) with this milestone birthday comes a paradigm shift for me. maybe no one else will see me different but in my mind things will be different.

when i turned 20 i dressed in black all day as a way to symbolize my teenage years. i don't think i'll do the same for this decade. it was a great decade, but it seems kinda foolish to "mourn" for it. i don't really feel like i'm getting old, which is part of my recent soul searching. (it may also be a reason why i started a blog) because i don't really feel old but i don't think i'm gonna feel young either. so i kinda feel like i'm in this generational "purgatory".

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this was accentuated last thursday at the FPU class that i lead. we were talking about balancing our check books and paying our bills. i mentioned that sometimes we don't even open our bank statement and rarely write checks by hand. the others in the group were kinda puzzled so i explained . . . i check our bank accounts online a couple times a week and pay all of our bills through auto-draft, a bank written check, or bill pay; all online.

they were somewhat alarmed that we would do such a thing. they were very wary of doing anything like that online for fear of identity theft. it was hard for them to understand that in the past 3 years since we've lived in grandview we've written maybe 10 checks. and half of those were because we had to send in an initial check to a company in order to set up auto-draft for that bill.

on top of being comfortable using the internet to manage my finances, i would also be categorized as an "alpha user" on the internet. (that's the term i've heard for it) i like to be one of the first people to try new things or see them or at least know they exist on the internet. i'm the guy people ask to find out "what's cool/new" on the internet?? (Baby Names, Leet Speak, Rasterbator, Armpit Fart, Rocketboom, and of course Apple)

so obviously i'm not part of the "older" generation . . .

today is 9/11; so naturally people's thoughts are remembering the events of 2001. i also work at a middle school and began thinking at how old the students were. this year's 6th graders were just starting the 1st grade; hardly able to fully understand what was going on. my oldest daughter wasn't even a year old. and this year's graduating seniors (class of 2007) never lived in america with president reagan, they never knew micheal jackson used to be black, and they all have a "myspace". but mostly i don't feel young anymore because i own a minivan, we're about to have our fourth child, and my kids call me "dad".

so i don't really feel as part of the younger generation. i feel like part of a different generation. i've heard that 40 is the new 30. my peers (in general) are taking longer to get married, longer to settle into a career, still play video games; but at the same time . . . have their own families, buying new homes, and are beginning to pay their own bills without asking mom or dad to help them out.

this is my generation. i'll probably discuss this again a couple months after my 30th birthday has come and passed.

"is that a wrinkle??"